I spent the whole of Christmas missing you.

So alone.

So disappointed.

So cheated.

So hated.

So tiny.

It's okay if you don't keep in mind what I always tell you. I always end up forgiving you anyway. Don't I.

But.

Last Christmas you so desperately wanted me to be by side.

This Christmas you acted like you still do.

This Christmas... I barely pulled through.

You did everything I knew you would do - everything I knew you would rather do.

When I got you back, we fought.

I told you how I felt. I expressed myself in the most familiar way, but it was also your most hated way.

By now I can hardly see. I was ripped apart all over again right there and then.

Fend. Distract. Divert. Ignore. Argue.

You are so predictable still... I just need to remember what comes first, will forever be you.

I spent the whole of Christmas missing you.

So alone.

So disappointed.

So cheated.

So hated.

So tiny.

It's okay if you don't keep in mind what I always tell you. I always end up forgiving you anyway. Don't I.

But.

Last Christmas you so desperately wanted me to be by side.

This Christmas you acted like you still do.

This Christmas... I barely pulled through.

You did everything I knew you would do - everything I knew you would rather do.

When I got you back, we fought.

I told you how I felt. I expressed myself in the most familiar way, but it was also your most hated way.

By now I can hardly see. I was ripped apart all over again right there and then.

Fend. Distract. Divert. Ignore. Argue.

You are so predictable still... I just need to remember what comes first, will forever be you.